Giving up on painkillers, part 4

We don’t feel lonely; we feel bored with ourselves.

I wrote a lot about loosing people and briefly mentioned it costs some money as well to clean up the life. In the reality process is deep and depends on the initial starting point.

First, I had to admit my rules are useless. Doing right things is not equal to leaving a good life. I learned, that doing the way I’d like someone to do to me there is one important nuance: it shall be sincere wish. Helping someone only because it is the right thing to do usually brings confusion. At under specific circumstances should be considered as attempt to manipulate other people to act good. I don’t want to believe there is an absolute evil, especially that manipulations are any kind of it. However, I still feel being allergic when I spot somebody behaving that way.

Second, I had to admit I had a bunch of negative traits in my behavior myself. At the same time these traits were the answers to my questions regarding the similar scenarios I’ve been facing with different people and groups. I was so afraid to express myself, that nobody could understand my intentions. Sometimes people used this, the other times - it made them afraid. This is common and valid reaction to be afraid of behaviors we do not understand.

Third, questions, questions, questions. Questions has unreal power. Pair it with ability to memorize the answers easily and genuine interest and you are good to lead any conversation. Leave the fears behind and having a goal should be considered as a proper preparation.

Last, and the most important: nobody cares. If you’re reading this, well, what a surprise. If you’re looking for a help you’d better reach a professional. But if you find encouragement in my writing, then... start writing yourself. It helps to maintain thoughts in the order, reduce fear from stepping out and we learn very fast when we share. But not everything deserves to be shared and not everything should be shared. Feeling the comfort line is the most right thing I guess.

Take care of yourself, stranger. No matter what you feel at the moment - the self love coming from inside out is the key and the path. It is so awkward and tricky to do with all the rules and perspective of other people, who made a lot to make us convenient. Do not give up on yourself.

You always have you.

This is the end of the stopping the painkillers story. If it looks too long and weird, well... you can leave a comment somewhere around. It could be shorten to a short bullet point list, but it wouldn’t be a story anymore.

I know I/you want a summary, here you go:

prioritize own needs, nobody gonna come and save you
don’t lie to yourself
don’t stay with people, who don’t care, even it means to stay alone
emotions and thoughts aren’t exactly “my feeling” and “my thought”; you’ll discover yourself what “I” means (if you want)
ignore the second, third and all other meanings: people can talk to for a reason
enjoy - success is not a bank deposit or cars; it is enjoyment of the moment, do whatever you can to get and keep that state

Thank you for reading. The article is Closing the “painkiller” series and it feels right to stop speaking about my “hard challenges”. I’m not the only climbing the ladder, my problems aren’t the worst and I’m not chosen to solve it for entire humanity. Sharing is a good thing, while whining won’t get me where I want to be. Time to focus on next actions.

You’re warmly welcome to follow my journey and reach me out on X. And I rarely can resist the urge to wish luck and all the best, stranger.