The hidden traps of being an independent engineer

I was afraid even about thinking of starting an independent solo journey years ago. However, the amount of frustration that I have accumulated for pure leadership, dirty managers games and simple lies and manipulation is pushing me toward solo carrier. Even when I took a role at a company that is close to corporation style - it was doable while I was leading a team on my own. As soon as others roles started to fill-up - I felt it became a . Focuses on gaining influence, rather then building the product and helping the clients. That job solved my survival problem for a short while, but I understood I have to keep moving.

But was it just the income I’ve been there fore? Actually, I get much more than that. I understood how similar that situation was to a solo journey. Being accountable for everything. And at some point it showed me the most crucial part - the illusion of being independent. It was a short while, that was enough to understand - even a solo journey is not about freedom. At least not the way I might mistakenly understand it.

Despite of dismantling many illusions I had - the freedom is the one that catches me. And I have to discover and learn where are the real limits of the real freedom. And it is not the way that there is no freedom. The truth is - it’s never absolute. And when you start a solo journey - yes, there is no boss or manager who tells you what to do. So you don’t have to do what you don’t want. But what to do instead? Well, there is no manager or boss either who tells you that. So you have to discover it on your own.

And this leads to the problem number two: there are too many options to choose from. Without a goal and a discipline - it becomes almost impossible to maintain a focus. Therefore effort goes into too many areas, projects, directions. And the effort is consumed by the entropy. Most of the time we can gain some experience, knowledge and practice skills. But this is not enough to bring the results.

And the problem number three: no external accountability. Nobody is going to check on you after a week, two, month, quarter. No yearly reviews. No improvements plans. What to get instead? Frustration and anxiety. Things are not working, I’m doing so much, but nothing is bringing the results. This is it. Valley of despair. To get through it is not enough to know what to do. It requires a different mindset. A different approach. Write, when nobody’s reading. Post, when nobody’s watching. Build, when nobody’s using. BUT! Make sure to put an effort to make it public. Share it!

And the last monster in this dungeon is overthinking on the next big move. It seems to make no sense to share bits and small steps. I need to figure out what is a big WOW and share that with the world. So everyone knows how cool I am or how great is the product I have built. And this is the last trap. Because being a solo builder limits a lot what can be build in a reasonable time. And modern world is about matching quality to the speed of delivery. Nobody cares about products and services that take decades to be built. World is moving too fast.

One huge leap can be replaced with 100 small steps.

This article is a part of my first 100 small steps to get ahead in my life. I am on my way to reach a number of 100 published articles on my blog.