I Left 9 to 5 to Live Up to My Potential
Leaving 9 to 5 is hard, even I know it is the right move. Uncertainty and worries about the future hits hard. But what was done once - can be rebuilt and brought back. Even better than before.
And it feels hard again. I can’t say I regret spending half a year building a great team, but realizing that it’s not the path I want to follow was a hard pill to swallow. No, I’m not here to cry, but to encourage — myself first, and other adventurers.
It was nice to hear that someone is actually reading these blog posts and asking me to keep writing. This encourages to go an extra mile.
It Started Well
Looking through my unpublished articles and notes from the past six months, I can see it felt like a new chapter, but over the time the signs that things were drifting in the wrong direction has appeared.
The less time and energy I had for my own projects - the ones where I had full control - the more I was investing into an environment that eventually stopped being fulfilling.
I decided to take the risk of possibly ending up with nothing in the long term. I was having those hard talks with myself and I decided to stay committed to the goals I’ve chosen. And when the moment came, I chose to say “Goodbye.” And I’m proud now of choosing myself.
Don’t Stop
What matters is how I approach challenges: dive deep, build understanding, define goals, solve problems. The taking rest step was missing for a long time.
But then comes another problem — not being satisfied with the results, always pushing for more. I’m often the one torturing myself the most. For years, I’ve struggled with not having enough time and space for rest and peace. I’m better at it now, though.
Still, stopping at an imaginary border drawn with chalk is not the mindset I want to adopt. When I know what to do and I know I should do it - I don’t want to stop or spend time reducing friction or insecurities.
Being eager to solve problems, brave enough to face them, and consistent enough to keep going until I find a meaningful solution — that’s the core of my identity and professionalism. Unslept nights, endless attempts, and countless moments of “that’s enough.” That’s the price of a unique approach in a world hungry for fast results.
Trading that for “security and stability” paired with “oh I can’t go any further” feels like a lame move. So… I keep going.
Because I can do much more than I think I can.
The Challenge Again
Although I imagined my life would stay flexible, I found it mentally hard to redesign my daily routine again. Even my mornings changed this summer — and not for the better.
I gave up on long-term health goals. I coped instead of choosing activities with proven positive outcomes. I noticed the shift earlier this year but felt like I couldn’t resist it. Until I made a significant choice: step outside and challenge myself again.
The unpleasant feelings are already stepping away, getting replaced with the feeling of controlling and loving my life. Again. If I did it once with no experience - it means I can repeat, rebuild and it will be even better.
The Bright Side
This recent journey gave me the chance to bring a huge positive impact to the team I was leading. I was surprised how well it went. Putting a lot of effort wasn’t easy, but seeing the results and outcomes made me think: wow, that was so obvious: I was just gave people what they wanted and deserved.
In a few words: I helped bring clarity and expertise into a world of conflicted priorities, endless options and uncertainty.
The IT world is full of options, and choosing the right path is hard. It’s even harder without a clear goal, distracted, with wrong mindset.
And the mindset changes I’ve worked on in the past few years paid off. I wasn’t only able to find clarity for myself — I was able to lead people. And, surprisingly, speaking more openly about difficult things built genuine human connections. Even though those relationships were remote, they mattered.
Summary
Spending time with myself was valuable, and switching back to real-life challenges was both difficult and rewarding. But I realized it’s not the environment that demands more of me — it’s myself. I need to stretch my comfort zone and aim for bigger changes.
That’s why I chose to take a step back, consolidate the experience I’ve gained, and return to my own journey. No matter how much anxiety I feel, how afraid I might be, or how many failures I encounter along the way.
The next milestone is clear: understanding value and getting better at sales.
My perception of sales has shifted completely in last years - from hatred to curiosity. Now it feels like the right time to learn reframing, to unlock value, and to believe in what I’m building. Those are the core elements of successful sales.
And believe in myself. That’s the core element of fulfilling life.