Among trivial chemical and behavioral addictions - humans of 21st century hit new challenges and new addictions. Yes, I’m talking about the greatest distractor most of us are carrying in our pockets every day. It’s not the device itself, but the infrastructure, the system it gives us access to and is a part of.

We build our entire lives to serve and to react to external signals. Because we might miss the deal, because we might not get the newest device the first day it’s out, because... there are so many reasons which has no value in real life. How do you think you can be happy if you are controlled in the worst possible manner. Do you imagine a case you’d be micromanaged by multiple bosses at the same time?

Silent silo or overexposure

On the first glance it might seem like there are 2 ways: either being full-in and trying to catch each and every event and piece of information that we are sold to. Or get silent by cutting off and live a boring life and pretend we’re happy doing that.

Both approaches might be wrong. Overexposure and following each and every distraction destroys and rewires our brains the way it does not serve us anymore the right way. The cutting off path... well, it might truly be boring and even dangerous. We are not really wired for solo journeys and deprivation of communication.

What shall we do if there are 2 ways and both does not suite us? It is not a dead end. In reality it means there is a plethora of options between the edges. What we need is balance.

Gettin the control back

Dopamine detox might be a great starting point, but you can’t rely on it in long term run. This is what I’ve learned about drug-addicted people: there are people who are giving it up for a while just to get that feeling and intensity that is unique for that “first” time. We can do better than that and avoid this trap.

First of all - stopping running and hiding, openly accepting that’s the place we are at. There are always options to get out of any situation once we realize where we are.

Second - our mission is to figure out what else is enjoyable and is healthier alternative. Replacing scrolling with walking, smoking with cycling and gaming with long form content. Oh... I’ve just shared my own receipt. It is obvious you don’t have to follow it, but find your replacements instead.

Third - it won’t make us different people the next day. Beginnings are hard, so much unknown, such a long path in front of us. Anxiety and doubts hits hard. And this is why we need to find something we love or at least enjoy. These emotions are natural, positive drivers for us.

Fourth - note the progress. There is lower chance we skip 10th walk in a row and miss a strike. I will do my best to go for that ride, if I’m committed to take a part in marathon in 2 weeks. I bet you got the idea. And get it right - once it’s the right thing for you - you’ll like it and actually enjoy.

We are committed to what we care about

Finding our own path is probably the most important phase. It is the path where we meet dragon of fear, doubt, and anxiety. Because receipts prepared by others are not working for us. Even we do our best - we are not getting anywhere.

It might take longer or shorter - but the more we get exposed and the more we experiment - the faster we are getting in a place where the journey is at least enjoyable.

Here is one thing that works for me and that is still hard to swallow. For me it is hard to stay committed and follow the goals or path I don’t feel is mine. Especially in my carrier. I can’t stay for too long in a place where I hit too many closed doors. This is how I learned corpo-environment is not for me. Stiff, rigid, , limiting, boring. Even it’s not corpo job. Once I notice I’m mostly doing the repetitive stuff - it is time to move. Usually it’s a step out.

And I might regret I gave up on a good conditions and quite a good environment. Yet here am I, staying committed to my own promise listening to myself. Here am I writing this on Tuesday night because I feel this might matter. Here am I still having enough energy to finish. It wouldn’t be possible, if I would stay. Despite it feel like I’ve compromised long-term goals. But I figured out a completely different way to commit to it and hopefully will share that move the other day.

Summary

We can not skip or avoid the enjoyment. Once we trade it for money, fame or other form of success - we are betraying ourselves. We give up on following our unique journey and stop writing the story. We start to copy and replicated. Replicas are never as good as the original. And prices never go as high as for the original.

And one more thing - nobody guarantees your replica will be at least good enough to guarantee you a good life. After all, if it won’t work for you - you’ll be blamed for being... there are so many weird ways to say different and to blame someone at the same time.

It’s better to love yourself and sit alone than to be in a group of people where you feel like an alien. With this said it might be my first move to start building my own tribe, squad, team. Not because I can’t do that alone. It is much more fun when it’s shared.