A cult of increased productivity, effectivity and success has evolved over last years. Everyone is busy building another startup, company, writing a book, coaching. Like living a restless life is the only way to live the right way.
It was a great day for me and I had no plan. Almost. I had a few anchor points - everything else was improvisation. After all I helped my family, opened a winter season of ice-skating and even wrote some Rust code, taking care of semi-abandoned IZDU slicer. And now when it’s the end of the day - it feels amazing.
Goals aren’t everything
“Lacking goals is the mistake #1”. The rule that I heard around 20 years ago. And during those 20 years I have tried many times and failed many times to achieve goals. Goals that are measurable, has timelines etc. Because as soon as I close my notebook or get away from any tool I used for planning - the real life starts to happen.
People are asking for help, and often that’s the real help that matters. Some tasks that seemed to be short and straightforward - are taking weeks or even months. And that’s impossible to know that until you start.
Putting more and more goals into the calendar or on the roadmap - real or imaginary - doesn’t change that fact. Cutting corners and delegating... well, is that still worth to live a life where everything is delegated? It becomes plastic, it ruins lives and families. The best things in life happens unplanned, the unexpected way.
The adding pressure
One of the attempts I made to grow started a few years before the COVID. Back than I had the idea that was killing me, my personality. It was destroying my relationships and family. And it was a dead end. What was the idea?
It was simply: I have to solve this problem today, so tomorrow I have less problems to solve. And then, when I have no problems to solve - I will have a great life.
I’ve been following this idea for more than a year. Maybe a bit less than 2 years. Obviously I’ve burned out. And no, I haven’t solved all problems. These were appearing one after another. I was brave problem fighter - I’ve been doing my best to conquer and solve it fast. The faster I solved one problem - the faster another appeared. It was a feeling of endless loop.
The other aspect of it - was to prove myself I am good enough. This motivation stayed undiscovered at that point and for a while longer. It’s well known as impostor sindrom. That’s it. On the bright side - I would not be able to achieve the same and learn as much functioning the regular way. But that feeling of being not enough - was pushing me forward endlessly. And it had a price.
Happy or successful: choose one
The day I realized I am not as much “successful” as I wanted to be no matter what. The day I realized I have no more energy nor will to do anything. The day I have realized it makes no sense for me to continue this journey. It was frightful. Huge world, small me and I don’t know what to do. And I can’t do anything due to being squeezed out.
This was the moment to realize it’s a matter of time when limits can be ignored. And it’s not an act of postponing the payment. It’s like getting deeper in depth with rates going higher and higher over time. It is stealing from the future self. Where me tomorrow is the guy who is further from the goal, not closer.
The good thing is I tricked you in the subtitle. Happiness equals success. This is what modern culture is not manifesting directly. Taking care of yourself is the way to go. For me it took years to understand the real rule. Some other spend lives without getting to this point. Don’t be a mad guy/girl. Take that vacation, go on that trip, grab your favorite coffee and go for a walk. We won’t solve all the problems. We must focus on those that make us happy.