A scale that matters

That was a tough start of the year. I’ve got injured, I missed a bunch of signals from my inner voice and found out myself far away from where I want to be. I betrayed myself and got „punished” with discomfort, pain and low energy.

Luckily, one of the core values I have - honesty - made me express my doubts and feeling openly. Not loud, but real. But I just realized I was playing honesty card with the external world, while distracting myself from the reality. Preventing being honest with me. Because that felt like a betrail.

When it’s about me, but more than me

We’re superheroes of our own lives. The main characters. And we judge and perceive the world around us through our own set of lenses. This is what normally people do. More advance approach is to know this quirk and take it into the count, when making judgments and analysis.

First bias to face is to understand world is not about us. We’re a part of it, but people might be interested much less in us then we think. They don’t care what we like. They don’t care what happens to us. Maybe they are up to hear a good story. But it still rarely matters. Until there is something for them. This is what we call „value”. When we have something for others.

The next step I am currently at: overestimate and underestimate the value. It seems I provide value somewhere, I’m not expecting it to happeng. And in other areas I tend to overestimate the value of my input. And this is causing the issues: focusing on wrong things, getting mixed signals, going into the wrong direction.

Why scale matters?

Finally, the only way to step out into less subjective life is to zoom out. Change a scale. And there are multiple reasons a person might fail doing it.

Ego and self-esteem problems. Learned misconceptions, traumas, broken environment providing incorrect feedback, toxic patterns. The one might never choose to be there and become such a type of person. But each and every is responsible for decision: keep it or change it!

The next thing is being locked. There is a reason isolation is used as a punishment. Locking all the feeling in a body is not a big problem. Body is honest, because it can’t think and dream. But locking in own mind is extremely powerful trap! Because mind can create and destroy universes in seconds. And it is mind that creates and designs the world. The one each individual is living in.

How to step out

I learned to step out of my worlds into reality by doing sports. Focusing on moving body. Surprisingly this works. And it is bringing enjoyment, once initial discomfort passes. But suddenly this was take away from me. And physical pain replaced it for weeks. The system collapsed and I started looking for a way to avoid the pain. And I found those. Scrolling and playing video games. Dopamine spikes were really pleasant month ago. Now it’s harder for me to sit and read for at least half an hour. That’s the price for that decision and for not setting limits for myself.

Video-games - that’s a deeper topic. But the thing is I finally found a game that captured my attention. On the other side I feel it stops the very moment I repair my reality and my chemistry.

Is that it? Either get into the body or get distracted. Is that all we can do? Luckily no. There is a reason religions exists. There is a reason human being have huge difficulties this days, giving up on God. Luckily God did not give up on humans. And this is what total love is. We are free to try how it is, when there’s no God. And we are free to get back whenever we want.

For me the biggest discovery of the year is the way how following God rules and getting to the perspective of immortal soul changes perception of current situation. The pain means much less. Problems becomes solvable. People become friendlier. Entire live changes.

Not because there is a magic. Not because someone improves our lives. Because we’re part of something huge. Once we remember - Soul start to whisper. And once we focus on Souls whisper - Ego becomes a servant to that whisper, not a rebellious slave.